Money Talk: Gotta Be Honest
It’s no secret that money is one of the few factors that can split a couple up. So why not open up about money and be honest, instead of keeping it a secret? This topic of speaking openly/honestly about money has been a struggle of mine lately. Hopefully, this post will teach you (and myself) to be honest with your partner when talking about money. Let’s get into why you gotta be honest when it comes to money talk.
When researching the link between relationship problems and finances, I came across an article named Money Ruining Marriages in America: A Ramsey Solutions study and it taught me a thing or two about how and why money is such a difficult to talk about, and why many couples avoid talking about it.
The study was conducted with 1,072 U.S. adults, to gain an understanding of personal finance behaviors and attitudes, and how money impacts relationships, according to Rachel Cruze. This representative sample was fielded from November 29, 2017 - December 5, 2017. One fact I found particularly interesting is that “those who say they have a ‘great’ marriage are almost twice as likely to talk about money daily or weekly compared to those who say their marriage is “okay” or “in crisis” (Cruze).
So how can we apply this simple conversation about money into our existing lives?
For starters, I think it’s important to just start talking about money. Don’t skirt around it or make a conversation about anything else. Money is hard to talk about because no one knows how to talk about it. I mean what are you really supposed to say? Here are a couple of things that guide my money conversations with my husband:
Sources of income between us
Money goals for the month/6 months/1 year
Upcoming bills/payments
Shopping wants/needs
We try to talk about money whenever an issue or a purchase comes up that needs further discussion. But I’m trying to make it more of a routine to talk about money at least once a week. The more money talk, the better. One quote I remember my friend saying to me was “money is one of the factors that can make or break a couple. So why not talk about it?”
I was never really taught in my childhood to have a good relationship with money. I don’t think I had a relationship with it at all, honestly. I just knew that it was there, and it helped get you things that you want. Personally, I believe we should teach our children at a young age how money is not just an object, meant to be used selfishly and with no regard for future consequences. You might be thinking “there’s no consequence to me buying a $5 lunch today.” But imagine if you bought a $5 lunch every day of the workweek. Then you go out to dinner and spend $20 - $40. All of a sudden, you spent half of your paycheck on food. Now you have faced your consequence - mindlessly spending on food that you think is essential, but is just gluttonous without thinking.
Money is a hard topic to talk about because we are never thought how to have a productive & helpful conversation when it comes to money. All we are taught as kids is to hold your money close, and when you see something you want, you buy it. But what about saving? What about investing? What about including the other persons’ thoughts and feelings on your money purchases? We can’t all be like Dave Chappelle, clutching our money as close to our chest as possible.
It’s time for us to take charge of our money, and control it instead of letting the money control us. Money will only have power if we give it to it. And I am tired of the spending habits and not changing just for myself, but for my husband. I hope that others in their mid-to-late twenties can relate to me and my relationship with money. We are all just trying to figure it out, one step at a time.
Do you struggle when talking about money?
Did this blog post shine some light on the green we call currency, that you haven’t thought of before?
