How to Determine if Your Friends Add Value to Your Life
You know that saying, “people are in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime”? I am realizing this lesson lately in my life, and so is a good friend of mine. It got me thinking about what advice to tell her, which sparked a fire in me about the entire situation of shitty friends. So here we are today, to talk about how to determine if your friends add value to your life, or if they are just a waste of your time & energy.
When I was in college, I remember some very childish people in my class who were unnecessarily clique-y. It was an experience I had to deal with since every day I had to see these people. But oh my goodness, I could not take the unnecessary drama! It exhausted me to think about it or just listen to it, so I decided to stop being involved with these people. They tried to be friends with me, but they were not friends in the slightest. Who knows where they are at today, but they definitely taught me a lesson about not wasting your energy on people who don’t put energy, value, or time into your life.
There is absolutely no reason to have people in your life who do not add to your life. That should be a simple fact of life.
People should stay in the life that cheers you on during your accomplishments and help uplift you in your rough points. You should try your best to surround people that contribute to your overall quality of life. There is absolutely no reason to have people in your life who do not add to your life. That should be a simple fact of life. I wish more people would realize that it is quality over quantity when it comes to friendship. Maybe this is a high-school mindset that people don’t get out of, but the number of friends you have should not matter if none of them will stand by you at your low points, and lift you up at your high points.
Elite Daily did a great job in their article Quality, Not Quantity: 5 Sh*t 'Friends' Who Add No Value To Your Life to spell out the 5 sh*t friends you should avoid having in your life. Here'‘s q quick run-down of what they mentioned!
The One-Upper
Chicken Little / Drama Queen
The Chronic Guilt Tripper
The “Always Broke” One
The Incessant Gossiper
Another article I ran across on Inc.com called 5 Simple Ways to Discover Who Your Real Friends Are (and Who's Just Pretending) had an interesting take on how to find out who your real friends are. Take a look at each of these examples, and see if your friends in your life fit the mold of a real friend.
They help you celebrate your accomplishments
They listen & support you when you feel pain and hardship
They ask you meaningful, thought-provoking questions that most people don’t
They listen deeply rather than waiting to talk about themselves
They challenge you to grow (and grow with you)
Now let’s talk about my friend and her situation, to make it vague as possible for a real-life example that will maybe help you see what I see.
She is in a predicament where two girls, who were asked to be bridesmaids in her wedding, were not being friends to her (or friendly in the slightest). My friend was having a tough time deciding if she should keep them at her wedding or not, since they were causing more harm than good at this point. I kept telling her that if they are causing drama now, imagine what they will do on your wedding day!
If I had advice for anyone for their wedding, it is to include people who want to be there at your wedding and support you and your decisions. Can you imagine having drama at your wedding, and having to deal with that instead of enjoying your special day? That is not the energy we need in our lives, people!
There is no reason to keep people in your life, just for the sake of having them there. The sooner you learn this lesson, the better your life will be.
If your friend is not adding to your life, being there for you, and being a burden instead of a help, you may have to look at that friendship more closely.
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